buddyfication

Beyond food packs for the homeless

We have been befriending homeless and urban poor (we called them street buddies) for slightly over a year. Based on observation, we classify them into 6 categories: 1) senior citizens; too old to work 2) drug addicts & alcoholics 3) foreigners 4) disabled 5) children 6) people who are able to work but choose not to.

While some of our street buddies try very hard to collect empty cans, boxes and discarded items to be sold but earn to little to spend on food let alone pay for rental, we believe at least 50% of them can lead a a normal life just by changing their mindset.

One of them is Saroja, who has been a regular for quite some times. For all the hardship she's gone through, every time I meet her, she keep asking me how am I going to help her and what I have to give her. She seems to have a lot of things to complaint about too. On one occasion, she was reported to curse at one of our volunteers because she was in a rush. And this evening, when we were talking, she criticized a stranger's fashion sense. She always thinks man are up to no good; being around just to destroy her life. She must had gone through difficult moments life but.

Another street buddy shared with me about being mistreated at work. That he decided to quit his job. The mistreatment? He thought he deserved a little more 'respect'. I wonder what's that suppose to mean.

The other guy quit his job as a security guard just because he cannot get any advance wages.

Petty excuses & negative thinking seem to occupy the thoughts of our many homeless friends. We face them week in, week out, and we are determined to help them change that. Because we believe it's the only way for them to get out from the state they are in now. Truly, giving food pack is just the beginning.

WE ARE ALL ONE: only during tragic event?

A momentum has presented itself.  We are beginning to have new understanding of how we experience life.  We have a chance to shy away from a life based on fear & competition, and slip into the realm of the HEART; the residence of love, peace & harmony ~

via www.redroom.com

The author said it eloquently of the words - Love, Peace & Harmony. A matter of the HEART.

She ties in with the story, however, of the recent earthquake in Haiti. As she has rightly points out the event in Haiti has increased mass awareness of giving to those in need.

Similarly the Asian 2004 Tsunami has also brought many people together in helping thousands of people that have been affected by the devastation.

Such tragedies make us reflect & question ourselves what makes us human. With the proliferation of the internet and social media this momentum of mass awareness has further propelled forward.

However, do we need to have the sacrifice & face death of many for us to raise mass awareness of being human? Do we need to have another calamity to others for us to be together?

Why can't we just talk and discuss?

Amid the row on the use of name of Allah in a Christian publication, Malaysian Digest reports a church in Desa Melawati was set ablaze. There's also a report by Malaysia Today on a failed attempt to burn down another church in PJ. I'm stunned. More so because both happened here in Malaysia.

I believe that this madness is an act of ignorance. The perpetrators were being selfish. Don't they realize that what they did could escalate anxiety and incite fear across the nation? I clamor to see a Malaysia that is free of religious sensitivities. That no group believe that they are superior than another, and no group feeling in danger.

While I understand religion is a delicate issue, I believe there's always room for negotiation and compromise. Ignore the media, the politicians and others who sometimes just love to capitilize on issues like this. Instead, let's prioritize things we treasure the most: peace, living in harmony and without fear. 

I believe, Malaysians are generally peace-loving, respectful, rational people. If you are among them, let's not further fuel the bad to worse. Let's put all the tempers and ego and talk. Discuss this like adults, and find a resolution to the conflict.

What really matters, that is, understanding one another. We are all different. Yes. But after all, aren't all religions demand the devotees to respect others of different faith

Photo credit: Choo Yut Shing

Auntie Anjalay's plea: time to play our part

Last week, I wrote to praise Sinar Harian's effort to help Auntie Anjalay finds her daughter who left her 3 years ago. Here's the news article.

Now, it's time for us to do our part. If it happens you know Anitha's whereabouts, or any other information that could lead to finding of Anitha, you can call 014-638 1712, or you can call me Afzam at 019-228 3650. Thanks in advance, people, and God bless you.

Bits by bits, parts by parts, and the world can change

On 6th December 209, the Kuala Lumpur edition of Sinar Harian, published Auntie Anjalay's plea to help her find the mother of her grandchild. She's been taking care of her for a few years already, though she actually can't afford to do so.

Auntie Anjalay is actually a friend we got to know during our Food for the Homeless run. We can tell that she's one of those we've met who desperately need help. Because recently, some of my buddies (colleagues for you) had visited her place, in view to assess what we can do to help her (more of that later. We've got some pictures too).

Reading the news, I'm quite at ease. There are people who care.

In Auntie Anjalay's case, Sinar Harian have shown that they care (through the means possible to them: by publishing her plea. Keep up the good work, Sinar Harian!). Just imagine if each and everyone of us care (and do something). Each of us do our part, bit by bit, part by part, through means we can. Bet we can actually change the word.

Pardon me mr anonymous rider. I was the idiot.

Picture this. You are driving, and then, suddenly, a bike "kissed" the back of your car. The guy is still on his wheels, unscathed. What's on your mind? How do you deal with the situation?

Me? This afternoon, I just drove away. I ignored him. I was just worried about my car. Whether there were scratches, whether there were dents; you get the drift. I thought it's his mistake to ride like a moron. I lost my cool. I even had the gal to vent my anger to him when he attempted to ride side-by-side with my car. I yelled at him. We went separate ways soon enough, when he took a different intersection.

Shortly afterward, as I gained my sense, guilt took over. I had forgotten that thing could turn a lot worse. It could easily turn bloody, even tragic. While I don't essentially take his life for granted, the way I dealt with the situation showed that I was. I was being ignorant, indifferent, selfish. I was just thinking about me, me and me.

Image by charmingman via Flickr

I wish I could turn back time. So I could handle the situation differently. I should show some compassion; stop by the roadside and ask him whether he's really OK. What makes me even feel more guilty to come to think that perhaps, when he was riding next to me, all he wanted to do was to say sorry.

Pardon me, mr anonymous rider. Yeah, I was that idiot.

So much for Malaysians being a caring society

If you are Malaysians, I believe, sometimes ago, you have watched  a TV commercial that featured a lad pulling of various tricks to deny a pregnant woman and  make sure he remains seated on LRT. (By the way, if you can't recall, it starred Adlin Aman Ramlie of "Puteri Gunung Ledang" and "Akademi Fantasia" fame and written by Malaysian super-storyteller, ad-genius the late Yasmin Ahmad)

Of all it's hilarity, it smacked right on my face. While I thought the ad was brilliant, reflecting the reality, but some, especially people of authority, deemed the ad offensive and didn't show "what we are as Malaysians". The broadcast of the ad was even put to a screeching halt.

I beg to differ. Many of us are like the lad in the ad then. Many of us are like the lad in the ad now. My recent LRT ride with my 7-month pregnant wife confirmed this.

To have the benefit of the doubt, I even said to my wife, "Kita tengok, ada tak yang offer tempat duduk." ("We'll see whether anyone would offer you a seat."). And what ensued was not beyond my guess.

From Taman Jaya LRT station to KLCC station, my wife stood. There were also a mother remained standing with a child aged no older than 3 years old throughout their journey too. While the young, less needy ones seated!

I shared my experience with my friends on Facebook. Some of my female  friends (quite a number of them) also vented their comparably astounding experiences in response to my post. Another appalling sharing from my sister strengthen my case. She, who primarily commutes using public transport, claimed that never, throughout her pregnancy, been offered a seat. On LRT, on commuter, on bus. Never!

Come on, Malaysians. Of all the thought we have about ourselves staying true to our moral and social values (unlike western people, some said), we should be able to deliver something better than this. Or perhaps, we take ourselves too highly. Or perhaps, we just thought wrong.

The collapse for peace remembered

9th November: it's the day the infamous Berlin Wall collapsed.

When the event took place, exactly 20 years ago (Berlin Wall fell on 9th November 1989), I was too young to understand its significance, its meaning. Based on what I have watched, heard and read, I can conclude the divides created by the wall were not just physical, but also psychological. More of psychological, I think.

So why is the event worth remembering? In an interview in Moscow, with Associated Press Television News, Gorbachev, the last head of state of the USSR said, "it was a catalyst for peace". (digested from an article by Yahoo! News). Well said! 

To the sound of Scorpions' Wind of Change, in the name of PEACE , here's to the collapse of Berlin Wall.

Related articles by Zemanta

• "Berlin Wall: 20th anniversary of the fall" and related posts (larvatusprodeo.net)
• Why the Berlin Wall Fell (online.wsj.com)
• Why the Berlin Wall came tumbling down (telegraph.co.uk)

Homelessness in Malaysia: another dose of reality

Recently, on this blog, I shared some photographic evidence (you can see it here) that there are homeless here in Kuala Lumpur. Here's another. I shot them in the wee hours of last Saturday, during food distribution to the homeless organized by Reach Org.

If a new friend calls you "hard to be around", brush up on your people skills - From The Observer

Grown-up friendships: re-learning the rules of engagement

When a new friend calls you "hard to be around" you know it's time to brush up on your people skills

via www.guardian.co.uk

Kathryn Flett - The Observer Guardian newspaper

At times we need to re asses how we are doing in social environment. There have been occasions when I feel the need to know my place; like, whether I belong, in a group of friends. of course, we can just be ourselves when a friendship start. But sometimes, being who we are can backfire.

As the writer mentioned, as we grow older, we need to re-consider the rules of engagement in being a friend with others. Being regarded a loony definitely does not help and you feel that you are starting from step 1 of making friends. Acquiring feedback on how you interact from your friends can be helpful; though at times painful to hear.